One of our sows* had a three headed piglet recently which I had posted about on our family farm blog.
Well what do you know but I almost immediately got a phone call from the USDA in Washington, DC informing me that I would have to do triple tagging of this piglet, one for each head. Apparently the regulations are written such that each head in a herd is to be counted and the aren’t about to make an exception for a three headed pig.
The problem is the piglet only has two ears between the three heads so I told the nice USDA lady on the phone that there was no place to put the third ear tag. She said that didn’t matter, I would have to buy one of those micro-chip injecting systems ($1,500) or get the vet to come out to do it ($150). You can guess which way I’m going on that one!
She said what ever I do the tags must be serialized such that the numbers for the three heads are in order reading from left to right. Apparently there is a new regulation that when animals are having their chips read they have to be done in order to avoid confusing the computers because the USDA databases are recorded in stone - something called Read-Only-Memory which is written into silicone crystals. The nice lady explained that this is why they couldn’t remove people from the databases - apparently it is a security ‘feature’ to stop terrorists from creating phantom animals in the databases like happened in Australia.
The other thing the USDA lady mentioned is I must track the three Animal ID’s separately - that if any one of them left the farm I had to report that. Frankly, I think they’ll be sticking pretty close together.
So to assure compliance I called the vet and he’s coming out with a chip injector so we can get this little guy properly recorded into the national herd. He’s also bringing his camera, since mine broke. Hopefully tomorrow I can have some photos up showing this amazing three headed piglet.
This is just so amazing!
*Sow Name: Winnie, USDA Animal ID #840123999102666, Monsanto Patent #5193200198666, Serial Number #6660199913002991, Firmware version#3.14159265358979
I can’t believe I swollowed the whole thing!!!!!!!!! I should have known better. I came over here from ethicurean so I should have been warned! I feel like such a sucker. Good one!
Comment Jenny — April 1, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
Walter you had me going there for a while thinking to myself
“I can’t believe Walter is actually going to comply with this idiocy they must be water-boarding him”…(chuckle).
Comment Denise — April 1, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
It is a sad fact that in the not to distant future, this little tale will not be an April 1 joke.
Comment DB — April 1, 2008 @ 10:07 pm
Since we are talking about hoaxes here are a couple used by the UN flunkies in the USA to control the masses and get them to support the UN hidden agenda.
HOW IT WAS DONE:
The leaders used corporation and government funding at colleges to get rid of the “goats” in Acadamea or to ridicule them. They used the news media to report the lies they wanted spread, and told the media the other side was a bunch of Kooks. I think No NAIS has run into the media brick wall to understand how that part works.
THE MOVEMENTS USED TO CONTROL THE MASSES
#1 Animal Rights Activism (not welfare) The hidden agenda is to remove the rights of humans to own personal propery.
#2 Enviornmentalism (not good land conservation) The hidden agenda is to remove the rights of humans to own real propery.
The laws against criminal trespass (poluting land, air, and water) were already in place. Eminaint Domain or purchase outright by conservation groups would take care of rare species. Instead the hugh amounts of money raised was used to pass laws taking away our property rights.
#3. GLOBAL WARMING
This is the best hoax since Piltdown Man. It was very easy to push since most people can not judge where or not it is the truth and few have any training in Astonomy
The initial discovery was made by William Herschel (astronomer and discoverer of Uranus) in 1801. Yes that is correct over 200 years ago! He initially noticed the price of wheat in England was correlated with sunspot activity Few sunspots were seen during lengthy periods of high cost wheat (lower temperatures) Sunspot activity was recorded from the time of Galileo in 1610 but temperature records were not. Herschel used the price of wheat to indicate the temperature instead.
E. W. Maunder pointed out a period of low solar magnetism between 1620 and 1720 with very few sunspots (the Maunder Minimum). This corresponded to a very cold period called the little ice age. The temperature drop was enough to be very obvious.
The UN scientists can not provide any real science to backup their statements. Despite this and the fact that the correlation has been known for 200 years and over 300 years of sunspot activity and temperature(not wheat price) measurement support William Herschel’s discovery, the UN Agenda 21 Facillitators are still using global warming and a lot more psuedoscience to control the masses.
I have know this since this since the mid sixties. My old text books are not on the internet
So if you want to read a LOT about the science and history of this hoax try googling:
Inconvenient Evidence Inconvenient Evidence Global Warming Global …
link -
Comment Snazy snezy — April 2, 2008 @ 11:38 am
And yet, slightly (just SLIGHTLY) tempting. I had a cat once that REALLY could have use a firmware update.
Comment grav_ — April 3, 2008 @ 2:31 pm